As I try to be more active on here, I seem to find time every so quickly speeding by. It’s already been over two weeks since my last blog, I seemed to have hit a lull in what to write and where to take this. I got some words of advice from an old friend who told me I was being too hard on myself, and to basically give myself a break and that I was dealt a shitty hand. I appreciate all the comments and advice that everyone has to offer me.
Tracy and I got back from our trip out west to Stoney Plain, Canmore, Banff, Lake Louise, Red Deer and Edmonton. It was a great time and offered up lots of opportunities for us to do some filming and start to put together footage for what we plan to share on a YouTube channel in the coming months. It also gave me a chance to put to practice some of new photography skills, which I still have a lot to learn, but it was great scenery with spectacular views, so pictures were easy to come by. I will soon share them here, once they are all saved to computer, another obstacle for me, even some simple computer work makes me rub my head in frustration, lol.
As for an update on my health, physically I seem to feel well most days, I was able to hike to most of the places I wanted to go, but don’t think that some days I was spent and took some recovery time. I do well in this department and when I got home started back in my running routine again. It was nice to get out on long runs or hikes, it’s very therapeutic after a certain distance where something takes over and my all consuming thoughts seem to disappear if even for an hour it’s a great relief. As for my mental state, not gonna lie it’s a struggle, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it always will be, it’s learning to cope. So, this week along with my regular therapist I talk with, I’m enrolled in a type of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy coarse and I’m pumped to be in it. It’s a small class setting, where we are going to learn how to cope with the anxiety that comes from having Stage IV cancer. The first week was just an introduction and hearing the others stories, and it’s tough. I will never discuss the specifics on here, just my takeaway and thoughts. This group is full of inspiring people, just looking for the same thing I am, how not to be consumed by this and live the best life with whatever time you have. It was a great first class and look forward to the tools I can learn to use going forward. Being stubborn and determined can be positive traits, but when trying to adjust certain ways of thinking those can be a challenge for sure, but I’ll get there…..it’s a fine line.
After a nice 12 days away and honestly everything went smooth, from the visit with my Brother and his family, the car rental, our first time using Air BNB, the visits with my parents and staying at hotels as well I have zero complaints. It was the start of what Tracy and I hope to become the way we live, no regrets! Easier said then done for me, but I’m getting there.The day after our return, I find myself in the jeep heading to Brantford to get the start of lab work done again (it’s been 2 months already), so bloodwork and my urine jug to take along and do the 24 hour fill…love it. After there and a quick visit with my oldest son I’m off to the Lab to get my shots (treatment) and besides the regular sore bum cheeks, it goes smooth. It’s just a reminder that even after a vacation, and that’s been the first real one since my diagnosis, life will always be, well, different. I believe I still have lots of time left, it’s learning to cope and just enjoy without stressing or be unpleasant. I’ll get there, I’m learning and trying.
Tomorrow I’m leaving early for a mid fall 5 day solo camping trip, I’m looking forward to some reflection while I’m by myself and try to find what I’m looking for, like I said before I think I have a deep connection to the water, my wife agrees, it’s where I belong. I will travel alone and take in all my route has to offer, and while I try to refine my photography skills, I also try to take mental pictures, to store in my mind, so they are there when I need them. Boy, I miss writing, I started by saying I was in a lull, this post came out pretty quick and easier. I have a lot to think about and hope everyone who reads this is trying to live their best life. It only comes once, that’s something I have to constantly remind myself off…..Love…..Cheers!