Consistency, it’s something I’ve lacked over the past few months here on my site. If my goal is to generate a larger audience I have to give you something that your looking forward to reading or watching in a timely manner…common sense. Then why is it so hard to come out with a post on a weekly basis? Well, honestly my life isn’t always that interesting, to me anyway. I know I have a story to tell, but don’t want to be regurgitating the same story line over and over. I wasn’t born with what I’d call a creative bone, when I write it seems I get very easily distracted and get off point and forget what the hell I was talking about in the first place.
What I’ve tried to do over the past week now is kinda reach back and remember why I started to write in the first place. For my therapeutic reasons, for raising awareness about my disease and to keep my mind sharp, well as sharp as I can at this point. I intended to treat this as a job, but one I loved and looked forward to doing. Now, I still look forward to punching these keys, bit the ideas and content just don’t always come easy and this used to be easy.
I think everyone who has sat to write a blog or vlog in the back of their minds wants it to be super successful and take off and therefore generate some kinda profit. Mine was always just for me and those who care to here my story or share in the inspiration, but hey I’d be lying if didn’t wake up one day and have thousands of followers, in a world saturated with content it’s very unlikely to happen, but you never really know.
It’s easy to quit, say this is a failure, head over to the television sit down and watch all these successful people and feel resentment, too easy. If there’s one thing to know about me is I’m no quitter, now I’ve had to move on from sports and job through my life, based on things out of my control, like I can’t play volleyball or baseball my elbow has a pain that flares up and is just unbearable and if I can’t complete at what I feel is at my highest level, well I won’t quit, I’ll find something to fill that void and try something new. Variety is the spice of life, right?
Don’t ask yourself what to world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, cause the world needs people who have come alive
Whenever I feel like quitting or throwing the towel in that is a quote I always think about. Cancer has kind of in a strange sense made me come alive, telling my story doesn’t necessarily make me feel quite that way, but gives me a sense of purpose more so then my life pre-cancer when I was just really going through the motions. Great life, don’t get me wrong, but I felt there was always something more to give. This blog may have it’s share of growing pains, one thing it won’t do is quit or go away. It may fail, but failing means I’m trying and being that all so important word I like to use when describing a cancer patient “Resilient”.
If this blog has brought me anything, besides happiness and connection, it is now given me to tell my story in a different way. As speaker on Thursday November 10th I will tell it to a group of people live for the first time. Nervous..a little, I just hope to bring some more awareness that is very much needed for this cancer through the patient’s eyes when dealing with a rare disease and the very bad that can come of it, but also the fact it can make you feel alive in a way you’d never think possible.
1 thought on “What Makes You Feel Alive?”
First of all, I wish you all the best on Thursday as you tell your story. I believe it’s important for us, as patients, to take every opportunity to increase awareness of this disease.
Secondly, I totally get what you’re saying about the challenges of blogging. I started mine almost 15 years ago, long before my cancer was diagnosed. My husband and I spent a year teaching English in Japan and the blog was meant to be a way of sharing that experience with friends and family back home. I thought it would just be for that year, but I’ve always loved writing and so I kept it going. It became what I called a lifestyle and travel blog. Then came cancer and I started to include posts about that. Eventually, I added a fashion feature on Fridays just to keep myself writing on a regular basis when there wasn’t a lot going on in my life. I would never have imagined myself as a fashion blogger but it’s connected me with some interesting women and keeping it up has been a discipline. I’m not interested in writing for profit though. That’s too much work and I think it might take the joy out of it.
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